Talking about your healthcare wishes with your family is a gift. Our collection below of recommended conversation starters can help you learn how to make end-of-life decisions and discuss them with your loved ones.
AARP – Advanced Planning Glossary >>This provides explanations of some legal terms you may find helpful in thinking about, talking about, and documenting your wishes through pain, serious illness, and end of life.
BBC Radio – We Need to Talk about Death >> Listen to episodes on all topics about death including fears, pain, what to expect, burial, body donation, death in the digital world, and much more.
Goals of Care Coalition >> Samaritan’s community partner provides valuable resources to help you have conversations about your healthcare wishes with your healthcare providers.
Conversation of Your Life >> Conversation of Your Life is a South Jersey Mayors Wellness Campaign program that focuses on engaging communities in fruitful dialogue—the Conversation of Your Life—to let individuals’ family, friends, or doctors understand and respect their end-of-life wishes through advance care planning. Conversation of Your Life is generously supported by The Horizon Foundation for New Jersey.
Conversations of a Lifetime >> Learn how to talk about end of life.
The Conversation Project >>
The Conversation Project has fostered a grassroots public campaign to make it easier to initiate conversations about dying, and to encourage people to talk now, and as often as necessary, so that their wishes are known when the time comes. The project’s user-friendly site offers a downloadable end-of-life conversation starter kit and other resources.
Your Life, Your Wishes – It starts with a conversation. >>
Whether it’s a baby on the way or your retirement plans, a family vacation, or your child’s college fund, having confidence in responding to whatever life brings you is often a matter of simple, timely and thoughtful preparation. Your approach to your own medical needs should be no different.
Go Wish >>
Go Wish is a card game that helps you find words to talk about what is important if you or a loved one should find yourself living a life shortened by serious illness. Playing the game with your relatives or best friends can help you deal with how to make end-of-life decisions and how you can best comfort your loved ones when they need you most.
Deathwise is passionate about motivating people to talk about, make decisions, plan for the end of their lives and then documenting their wishes in an advance directive to ensure their preferences are communicated to their medical services providers, family and friends. Wise Conversations >>
Prepare For Your Care >>
PREPARE is a website that uses videos and stories to teach people how to identify their values and goals for medical care and to make medical decisions.
POLST – Practitioners Orders for Life Sustaining Treatment >>
The Practitioners Orders for Life-Sustaining Treatment (POLST) form helps patients with a life-limiting illness, in collaboration with their health care provider, to identify goals of care and preferences for treatment. POLST is for people who are facing a life-limiting illness. This form is a compliment to, not a replacement of, your advance directive. | Watch NJ POLST videos |
NEW emPOLST – Using Electronic Mobile Technology – Click here to check it out!
Five Wishes >> Five Wishes is an easy-to-use legal advance directive document written in everyday language. It helps all adults, regardless of age or health, to consider and document how they want to be cared for at the end of life. It is America’s most popular living will with more than 35 million copies in circulation.
Free Living Will Workshops for Seniors – Offered by Camden County NJ – More Info >>
Frontline’s Being Mortal: Explores relationships between doctors and their patients nearing end of life. Follows writer and surgeon Atul Gawande as he delves into the relationships doctors have with patients who are dying.
Consider the Conversation 1: A Documentary on a Taboo Subject: provides a 360-degree view on end-of-life care. It features the perspectives of three terminally ill patients in their 50’s and the professionals who typically care for these kinds of people – doctors, nurses, social workers and clergy – as well as several leading national experts. Consider the Conversation does not provide the viewer with any particular answer – it’s not a hospice film, for example, and it’s certainly not a film that advocates for physician assisted death. Instead, it provides something far more important than an answer – some of the questions we all need to think about and answer for ourselves.
Consider the Conversation 2: Stories about Cure, Relief and Comfort: highlights the value of palliative care and shows viewers what end-of-life conversations with medical professionals look like, sound like, and feel like. It features the perspectives of seriously ill patients from a variety of backgrounds as well as the doctors who care for them. The primary goal of this film is to demonstrate that communication is a skill on par with the clinical skills of diagnosis, treatment and prognostication – something medical professionals can teach, learn, and use for therapeutic benefit.
Listen to these helpful and informative podcasts that discuss end-of-life care and explore what matters most at the end of life.
Atul Gawande: “Being Mortal – Medicine and What Matters Most at the End” discussion with NPR host Diane Rehm (2014)
Living A Good Life -To The Very End, Wisconson Public Radio (2014) – A coversation with Dr. Atul Gawande about doing more to help people live good lives as they approach death.
PBS NewsHour – Why is it so difficult to talk about death? >>
NY Times – Teenagers Face Early Death on Their Terms >>
NY Times – The Trouble With Advance Directives >>
Readers Digest – 16 Smart Things People Do to Prepare for Death >>
The Importance of Estate Planning >> Your estate is comprised of everything you own. No matter how large or small, you can’t take your car, your investments, your real estate or more with you when you die. Estate planning is when you anticipate and arrange the management and disposal of all those items at and after death, while minimizing gift, estate, generation skipping transfer tax, and income tax.
A Plan to Match Your Goals >> Review a charitable estate planning chart to compare your goals with different types of giving and benefits.
Your Will >> Read about the importance of hiring a professional versus using an online do-it-yourself kit to help you and your family plan for death and the distribution of your assets.
Gifts of Stock >> Learn more about this flexible planning tool that allows you to take a charitable tax deduction for the market value of the stock, and neither you, nor the charity, has to pay capital-gains taxes when the stock is sold.
The Charitable Gift Annuity >>
A charitable gift annuity is when a donor makes a lump sum gift to a charity, with the gift being used to purchase an annuity. The annuity would pay the donor a fixed percentage of the gift each year during their lifetime, with the remaining value of the annuity paid to the charity after the donor’s death.
IRA Charitable Rollover >>
Making a qualified charitable distribution (QCD) from your IRA reduces your taxable income.
Charitable Trusts >> A charitable trust may offer significant advantages for certain estates. Find out if one is right for you.
Gifts of Cash >> Learn helpful tips about the safest ways to make cash donations (check, credit card) to charity.
Life Insurance and Charitable Giving >> Learn more about how life insurance allows you to make a substantial gift to charity at relatively little cost to you
Donor Advised Funds >> Put your Donor Advised Fund (DAF) to work in your community, and consider “bundling” your contributions to recoup a charitable deduction.
Interview with Rabbi Elliot Dorff
Jewish Sacred Aging: Jewish Bioethics podcast with Rabbi Elliot Dorff >>
NJ Study on Advance Care Planning Perceptions
Monmouth University Polling Insitute & NJ Health Care Quality Institute: Public comfortable with idea, but few are making plans (PDF)
Example of Jewish Community-wide Conference
Planning for End of Life (Texas Jewish Post) >>
Praise for End of Life Discussions
How Not to Die by Jonathan Rauch on Dr. Angelo Volandes (PDF)
Conference on “Health, Mortality and Morality: Jewish Perspectives”
Dying Raises New Issues Today >>
Suggested Readings (PDF)